Let’s Talk About SEX

Lately I’ve been blogging a bit about sex. Which is a bit of a worry. It normally isn’t my thing. Talking about it I mean. There is something wildly inappropriate about a middle-aged man, speaking of things that are best left said and done in private. When you get to my age you need to be occupying your time thinking of wholesome pursuits like lawn bowls. But I blame all the bizarre stories that keep popping up.

Let me give you a for instance. The vaginal orgasm, does not, cannot exist. Bet you didn’t know that? Women do not ejaculate, and the G-spot named after eminent gynaecologist, Doctor Ernst Grafenberg should be renamed the F-spot. That’s F for fantasy.

As one wag observed, these final, anti-climactical words are contained in a controversial paper published in the latest journal, Clinical Anatomy.

The researchers from the Italian Centre For Sexology, which sounds like something you’d find in a Fellini movie, claim that the only way a woman can climax is through clitoral stimulation. Vaginal orgasm has no scientific basis and in any case, the concept is a Sigmund Freud invention.

The researchers conclude female orgasm is possible for all women, always with effective stimulation of the female erectile organs.

Phew. I’m glad of that. They had me worried.

But not all sexual health professionals are happy with that ending.

For example, Kayt Sukel, author of Dirty Minds: How Our Brains Influence Love, Sex and Relationships, says the researchers who wrote this paper have got it wrong.

While anatomy might be important, sexual response is more than just the sum total of our nether regions. She says the researchers do not explain why some women can’t climax even with sufficient clitoral stimulation while others are capable of reaching orgasm in the absence of it.

Kayt Sukel says this study doesn’t take into account other studies, outside of anatomy, that have examined the vagus nerve, the role that the brain plays in orgasm and how direct cervical stimulation can lead to orgasm in paralyzed women.

In their paper, the researchers from the Italian Centre For Sexology make another controversial point. They argue that because the clitoris, the female equivalent to the male penis, is an external organ it therefore makes internal vaginal orgasm impossible.

Can’t believe how many times I’ve used the V and P words. Talk about out of your comfort zone.

But people like renowned Australian urologist, Helen O’Connell, dispute this concept of a woman’s anatomy. Doctor O’Connell says the clitoris is very much an internal organ.

As for the G-spot, the Italian researchers say it belongs in the same category as unicorns and angels in terms of believability.

You know what? I’m done with all this pop psychology.

What I find amazing is this constant obsession with female orgasm. It just puts more pressure on people. Relationships are hard enough as it is without having to raise the bar in the bedroom.

Surely the most important element of a healthy sexual relationship is being with the right person. The closeness, the sharing and just having regular, good old- fashioned cuddles. Old fashioned, that’s me.

Sex is not a race nor is it a competition. It’s about two human beings who love each other. Nothing is ever cut and dried. It’s never just the one part but the sum of many. There endeth the lesson.

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