I publish this obituary with acknowledgement and admiration for the anonymous person (not me) who penned it in its original form.
Today, we mourn the loss of a much loved and close friend. You will know her because the name is very familiar. She’s called Common Sense. And yes, she is a woman. Now, not many will realise just how old she was.
Try as old as Methuselah? Nah, even older.
She was as old as civilisation itself.
But just like all things old, her birth records got lost in time or in bureaucratic red tape. Or both.
Common Sense will be fondly remembered as someone who cultivated and taught many valuable life lessons such as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain, Why an early bird always gets the worm, and that life isn’t always fair. Sometimes it’s very unfair and unjust.
And, lets not forget one very important lesson: It’s called maybe, yes maybe it was my fault. Who can forget that one?
Common Sense lived by very important philosophies and sound financial strategies such as don’t spend more than you earn and adults, not children, are in charge.
But Common Sense caught a disease. Her health began to deteriorate rapidly. The illness was exacerbated by very well intentioned but deeply flawed absurdities set in stone. Absurdities like, a report that a six-year-old boy was charged with sexual harassment after he kissed a classmate. And, a group of teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after eating their lunch.
But I saved the best until last: a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
Sadly, despite emergency treatment from people of good will, Common Sense continued to decline. Especially when parents began attacking teachers for doing the job they themselves had a responsibility to do. Namely, disciplining their appalling behaved children.
What chance did she have in the face of schools requiring parental consent to administer sunscreen or aspirin to a student but were forbidden from informing parents if a student became pregnant or wanted to have an abortion?
You might understand that Common Sense began to lose the will to live when churches became big businesses and criminals began receiving better treatment than their victims. There was no hope with the realisation that you can’t really defend yourself from a burglar in your own home. And if they became injured, you could be sued for assault or worse, charged with murder if they died.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost when a woman failed to realise that the cup of coffee she was holding was in fact hot, spilled some on her lap and was promptly awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense now joins other family members who have passed on such as Truth and Trust, Discretion, Responsibility and Reason.
But she is survived by sworn enemies: Ignorance, Intolerance, Stupidity, I know my rights, I want it now, Someone else is to blame, I am a victim and Please pay me for doing nothing.
Not many people attended the funeral for Common Sense because so few were even aware she was gone.
If, by some chance, you still remember her, please pass this on. If not, be just like most other people and do nothing.