Five Year Old Invoiced For Failing To Attend Classmate’s Birthday Party

Enough of this, pussy footing around, I’m declaring an undeclared war on political correctness. Yeah, I know it sounds like a contradiction. But, if I’m not prepared to put up my dooks, and fight against this crass piece of insidiousness, no one else will. Not many anyway. What do I mean by political correctness? Really dumb decisions, like attempting to rewrite the well known, children’s fantasy, nursery rhyme, Baa-Baa black sheep, on the grounds that it promotes racial stereotyping. Get over it. It’s a nursery rhyme and nothing more. I ended up having a huge online dispute with a woman who, point blank refused to accept it could be nothing more than a form of entertainment for children. Baa baa humbug.

Here’s another example of PC, that’s enough to get people like me, positively raging against the dying of the light of common sense.

A five-year-old British boy was handed an invoice for a “Child’s Party No Show Fee” and threatened with court action after missing his schoolmate’s birthday party so that he could spend the day with his grandparents.

Torpoint Nursery and Infant School in southern England said that one of their teachers had been asked to pass on an envelope from the birthday boy’s mother, to youngster Alex Nash, as he returned from the Christmas break.

Inside the envelope, father Derek Nash found a demand for £15.95 ($29.40), in the form of an invoice that appeared as if it came from Plymouth Ski Slope, the venue of the “slide and ride” children’s party that included three toboggan rides, a hot meal, ice cream, jelly and balloons. In case you are interested.

“It was a proper invoice with full official details and even her bank details on it,” Nash said. But the bill has not been paid and the family is now threatened with action in the small claims court, which deals with minor civil disputes.

“The money isn’t the issue. It’s the way she went about trying to get the money from me,” Nash said.

The author of the invoice is Julie Lawrence, who is also the organiser of the birthday party on behalf of her son. Her attitude was less than sympathetic to five year old Alex Nash’s non attendance. “All details were on the party invite. They had every detail needed to contact me,” Lawrence said.

But in their defence the Nash family claimed to have lost Lawrence’s contact details.

Of course, the meat in the sandwich, in this storm in a teacup, ( how about that for a couple of mixed metaphors ) is Plymouth Ski Slope, the venue that hosted the birthday bash. The ski slope manager was at pains to point they were not in the business of issuing invoices for people who fail to show up. More importantly, they were not in the habit of issuing invoices to five-year-old children.

At this point, allow me to make some general observations. The trouble with this kind of lunacy is that it becomes a breeding ground for even more lunacy. For some reason everything seems to turn to custard when children reach school age and they start making school friends. Parents have been known to enter a competition for who can throw the most expensive and elaborate children’s birthday party. What matters most is who will come, how many attendees, and whether the birthday host child can expect invitations in return. Picture this piece of A grade lunacy in Sweden where an eight-year-old handed out birthday party invites to all but two of his classmates, which prompted the insanely PC class teacher to confiscate all of the invitations on the grounds of discrimination.

Ok. Let’s just pretend for a moment that the invoice sent to five-year-old Alex Nash, is a serious legal demand. Under the law, what chance does Julie Lawrence have of recovering the amount she claims she is owed for five-year-old Alex’s no show? I would say about a snowball’s chance in hell. Make that around the same time hell freezes over. According to my credible legal sources, any claim would be on the basis that a contract had been created, which included a clause that a “no show” fee would apply. However, in order to have a contract, there needs to be an intention to create what is called legal relations. And a children’s party invitation would not create legal relations, under the law of contract with either the child “guest” or its parents. Even if it could be argued that the contract is with the child, it is utterly inconceivable that a five-year-old, would be ruled by a court as capable of creating legal relations and entering into a contract with a “no show” penalty.

It’s hilarious to imagine what a children’s party invitation seeking to create a contract might say: “I, the ‘first party’, hereinafter referred to as the ‘birthday boy’, cordially invite you the ‘second party’, hereinafter referred to as ‘my best friend’, to the party of ‘the first party’.

Give me a break.

“She(Julie Lawrence) didn’t treat me like a human being, she treated me like a child and that I should do what she says, ” Derek Nash said, which pretty much summarises the situation.

It is pleasing to note that not everyone has lost their sense of humour. All of this nonsense prompted one British wag to write what he called, the unwritten rules of children’s parties, which I reproduce here for general amusement. Birthday boy/girl must be given preference for starting all activities. Small guests pushing past should be restrained by attending adults. Party bags or gifts are mandatory for each attending child otherwise the children who didn’t get one will never forget they missed out. If you don’t RSVP, don’t think you can just turn up. And if you do, don’t expect a party bag. Avoid any post-party talk around the parents of the uninvited. The host child MUST win at least one round of pass the parcel, and children must be given 15 minutes at the buffet before adults are allowed to hoover up the remaining cocktail sausages.

That’s not PC that’s PR as in perfectly reasonable I would have thought.

They Get Paid Too Much

You know what? So-called elite athletes are overpaid period. Make that way over paid.

These people are good at hitting, running, kicking or catching and pretty much nothing else. Apparently that entitles you to earn more than anyone else on the planet. Didn’t you know? It also entitles you to be a rude, obnoxious, uncaring, disrespectful and mean-spirited to people earning a pittance in comparison. Of course it doesn’t. But try telling them that.

Let me share a couple of rolled gold examples. Floyd Mayweather is a champion boxer. He is one of those so-called elite athletes good at hitting things with his fists. Things like other people and inanimate objects. Floyd Mayweather is also something that starts with the letter “w” ends in the letter “r” and has the letters “a-n-k-e” in the middle. His nickname is ‘Money.’ He is called that for two reasons: Firstly, he is the world’s highest paid athlete. In one year he made $112 million in net revenue. The year before that he made $85 million. The second reason has to do with him being a guy who likes to let everyone know what he’s got. Make that, how much more he’s got, than the average Joe. A-typical of a guy who believes in his own PR or just likes to blow smoke up his own you know what. He posts photos on Instagram. Cut to photos of Floyd stepping off his multi-million dollar private jet. Then there’s the collection of photos of his exotic car collection. In fact Mayweather is constantly tweeting images of luxurious items he either owns or bought. He also likes to post photos of himself placing enormous bets on sporting events or just him surrounded by wads of cash. He even tweeted a photo of himself showing how he likes to start each day with a sponge bath from his young, female assistant. Hence the nickname: “Money.” But I reckon my nickname for him is better.

Let me just add this disclaimer. This isn’t jealousy talking. If someone wants to pay Floyd Mayweather millions of dollars for beating up on somebody in a boxing ring, then good on them and him. I don’t begrudge him one thin dime. What I do begrudge is what I am about to tell you. Fast-forward to Floyd Mayweather’s very recent boxing match at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas. He won and pocketed $32 million for his efforts. Floyd and 150 other hangers-on decided to party afterwards at the local Hard Rock Café. They were hungry and thirsty and waitress Nik Nguyen thought Christmas had come early. She doted on them as they proceeded to spend $25 thousand on food and booze. I should point out that unlike Floyd Mayweather, Nik Nguyen has to work two jobs just to make ends meet. She is also coping with the recent death of her father. Wait staff are lowly paid in the land of the free and the home of the brave and generally speaking people like Nik Nguyen supplement their wage through tips from patrons prepared to reward good service. What she didn’t count on was the un-generosity of Floyd Mayweather. Good service counted for nothing. After paying the bill this multi-millionaire athlete left a tip of precisely nothing. Zero. Nada. However, he did leave a pile of empty bottles and chicken bones to be cleaned up.

There is a small upside to this story for Nik Nguyen. She didn’t walk away empty handed. The security guards at the café felt so sorry for her, they took up a collection and presented it to her. Maybe Floyd Mayweather has been punched around the ring too many times but that is no excuse for bad manners.

And it seems it isn’t just millionaire boxers who have short arms and long pockets. Lesean McCoy is a professional football player with the Philadelphia Eagles. He’s good at running and catching in the NFL. It pays well. In 2012, he signed a contract worth $45 million over five years. If you were to break that down, he earns $9 million a year or $173,036 per week or $25,725 a day, $1030 an hour, $17 a minute or 28 cents a second. He is a running back but after his behavior at a local Philly burger joint, one sage suggested he is more suited to the position of tight end. McCoy and a friend sat down in one of the restaurant booths to have a bite to eat. The staff at the burger joint, recognized him and were pretty excited to wait his table. What can I say? They were fans.

But instead of being appreciative of the attention, McCoy was, according to reports, the exact opposite. He was heard to be verbally abusive and to make derogatory remarks about women in general and the waitresses serving him, in particular. When it came time to pay the bill of $61, McCoy had one final insult to offer. He left a 20 cent tip. Maybe he ran into one too many goalposts in his career and that might explain his attitude.

The restaurant manager was so incensed he decided a payback was in order in the form of a small revenge. He took a photo of the bill showing McCoy’s signature as well as the 20 cent tip and posted it on Facebook. Clearly greater minds than mine think these guys are worth every cent of their multi, multi million dollar paychecks. In my view the only payout they deserve, and should get, is public humiliation.